How to Turn Pain into Compassion with Tonglen Practice as taught by PEMA CHÖDRÖN
"It is only ill and the ceasing of ill that I proclaim." Buddha.
His basic diagnosis was that suffering does exist, and all effort to escape it only can generate more and more suffering. One of his teachings is the practice of compassion, specially in the face of:
- aggression
- grasping
- and ignorance
These being the "three poisons" of human experience.
The Buddha taught that the three poisons arise from our unskillful responses to pain; and the appropriate response to pain - in both ourselves and others - is compassion.
This, the antidote to our own difficult emotions and the world's hatred, violence, and greed lies in exercising compassion for all beings, in every situation.
This teaching is embodies today in the practices of Zen and Tibetan Buddhism.
Tonglen refers to : taking and sending. It is a form of meditation which is a immediate and direct way to cultivate genuine compassion. The irony is that this 'good medicine' can only spring from: anger, grasping and ignorance. The transformative practice of tonglen turns these roots of anguish into a powerful remedy that can heal suffering of all beings.
What is Tonglen Practice?
The ultimate spiritual liberation is possible through the bodhicitta practice of opening one's heart completely to all beings. The Tonglen practice brings intelligence and compassion to every level of daily experience. Sending and taking should be practiced alternately. These two should ride the breath.
The practical purpose of Tonglen is to reduce the amount and density of suffering in the world, and to replace it with unconditional spaciousness. This exchange of taking and sending takes place on the medium of the breath. The suffering of the self and others is taken in with the in-breaths; relief is offered with the out-breath to whomever needs it.
For centuries this was practice only in Tibet, now it's moved to other parts of the world where it is most needed.
This radical, heart,-opening practice is a great medicine for the sufferings of our own planet and era.
Tonglen can be practiced formally or on the spot, at the very moment of encountering a painful or difficult situation.
To do Tonglen at this time is to change the energy of the environment by replacing the dynamics of fear, grief, or anger with compassion.
This compassion arise naturally and is most effective when we regularly do formal tonglen practice, using our won suffering as a stepping stone to understanding the suffering of others. It is thins understanding that brings about genuine compassion for others.
Tonglen helps one radiate well-being and compassion to ourselves and others. It also helps break down barriers between the self and other. By being willing to take on others' pain, we experience our commonality with all those sentient beings who suffer just as we do.
The happiness and kindness we give away is the wealth we typically try to hoard for ourselves. By offering it freely, we acknowledge that no one of us can be happy in isolation.
All of us in this planet suffer together, and also delight together.This is the experiential message of tonglen.
In Pema Chödrön's words, tonglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. In the process we are liberated from a very ancient prison of selfishness. We begin to feel love for both ourselves and others; and we also begin to take care of ourselves and others. Tonglen introduces us to the unlimited spaciousness, beyond conceptualization. By practicing tonglen we begin to connect with the open dimension of our being.
We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we know to be hurting and whom we wish to help. So you breathe in with the wish to take away all the pain and fear or whatever negative emotion that person is suffering. Then, as you breathe out, you send the person happiness, joy, or whatever would relieve his pain.
This is the core of the practice, however, because you come face to face with your own fear, resistance, anger, or whatever your personal pain or stuckness happens to be at that moment. At that point, you can change the focus and begin to do tonglen for what your are feeling and for millions of others just like you who, at that very moment in time, are feeling exactly the same stuckness and misery. So you breathe in for all the people who are caught with that emotion, and you send out relief or whatever open up the space for yourself and for those other people suffering the same pain. So you do not need to name what you are feeling you can just feel it and take it in for all of us, and then send out relief to all of us.
Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or have just died, or for those who are in pain of any kind. You can do it as a formal meditation or on the spot. For example if you are walking and you see someone in pain, you can breathe in their pain and send out relief right on the spot. If this view brings about resistance or fear or anger, then you can do tonglen for all those people like yourself feeling that and then breather out relief fro all of us who also at the site of pain feel fear or anger instead of compassion and kindness.
In this way tonglen uses what seems like poison as medicine.
Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.
Tonglen can extend infinitely. As you do the practice, gradually , over time, your compassion naturally expands as you find yourself more and more able to be there for others, even in what used to seem impossible situations.
6. More ways in which Tonglen works to defuse painful situations.
When suffering is caused by aggression, for example, we might typically respond with anger or denial. This only escalates the situation, increasing the painful effects of the initial angry behavior. If one were to respond, instead, with tonglen - taking the pain of aggression into onself and offering peace- the predictable pattern of escalation of aggression is defused. With nothing to push against the aggression tends to subside.
The same concept can be applied to fearful, sorrowful, or confused situations. You can meet any of these with complete willingness to take on the pain and to give away all your own courage, joy, or clarity for the god of all. Inevitably the dynamics of the situation will change when you do. The energy of suffering is ventilated' it is no longer as solid and powerful as it seemed to be. With tonglen the suffering shifts into constructive peace and a healing practice for oneself and others.